Miracle #1 - Andrew Speaks

Andrew was about 9 months old when he began to say his first words. Then shortly after turning 1 year old, he stopped talking and uttering sounds all together.  I don't remember the exact day that he said his first word, nor do I remember the exact day that he stopped, but I will never forget the day that he spoke again after many months of silence. He was two and a half years old.

For a year and half, my son hadn't spoken. For months, we faithfully attended speech therapy. Week after week we would go, and nothing had come of it. While many children with Autism remain non-verbal their entire lives, I always knew that Andrew would speak again. I even had dreams about it on many occasions. In my dreams, my little boy would come up to me, look me in the eyes, and intently speak with perfect utterance. 

Despite my faith and expectancy, I was still caught by surprise the day I actually heard his voice again. It was just another day with nothing profoundly different about it than the days before. Andrew was sitting on the floor in his room with his Home Educator and I.  We were playing with a gear toy, when it would stop working she would prompt him to say “go" and then start it up again. After many trials, we were about to give up, and then, it happened. 

 "Go!"

The first time he spoke it was so quiet, that it was almost a whisper, and I wondered if I had really heard correctly. Then he did it again! When I heard his sweet and quiet little voice chant; “Go!” I was overwhelmed.

It was one of those moments in life that is so wonderful that you look back and think; 'Did that really happen?' I couldn’t wait to tell Nathan about what our little Andrew did. I also didn’t hesitate to call Grandma and Grandpa and let them in on the excitement as well. We were all so proud of him.

That day was an eye opener for me. The little boy trapped inside the outer shell of Autism was finding his way out. He was saying, “There’s more to me than you see.” And that’s how it’s been ever since.  He continues to surprise us by learning new things, doing new things, saying new things almost daily. 

I would like to say that it’s because I’m an incredible mom who is armed with patience and a special touch. But truly the only thing that I can take credit for is casting all my cares on God and putting my trust in Him. I have sown many nights awake in bed, praying out the cries of my heart. I have been presented with countless opportunities where I could choose to either believe the present circumstances, or stand in faith and believe in my God. He has continually shown His faithfulness. 

Finding Strength

As a parent of a special needs child, I've adapted to the challenges we face on a day to day basis. I may not live a normal life by most people standards, but I've eventually found my own normal. I've learned to live be plan life around my child's struggles. Even so, some days are more challenging than others.

Today, has been very difficult for me. Today, the magnitude of my son's obstacles seemed a little more prominent than most days. Today his needs were a little greater, and I was physically tired. I found myself feeling inpatient, unequipped and stressed. Today, I mourned for that lack of normalcy, whatever that may be.

But I had to remember that what I was experiencing were emotions, and emotions are temporary. I allowed myself to be sad for a brief period of time, but then I had to move on. I know that I cannot allow my feelings to affect my attitude and my outward interactions with my children. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about my son, it’s that he senses, hears, and sees much more than I realize. If he can sense negativity from me, he will respond negatively himself. As a mom, my attitudes and actions make a huge impact on my household. So if I want to see change in the atmosphere, I have to lead it.

Of course, This is easier to say than to do. Sometimes our situations feel so desperate and tremendously difficult for us to face that we just feel helpless. No one expects us to have it all together. In fact, the more that we admit our weaknesses, the more grace we will receive.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says,"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So our desperation, in essence is good news. Because when we can't do it, He can!  If you need strength, ask Him and He will strengthen you. If you need a miracle, take comfort because God is a miracle worker!  Every problem we face is an opportunity for God's love, power and grace to be seen in us and through us.

Just tell God your need and ask him for help. God will not hold back. Romans 8:32 says "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" Jesus said, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

If you are feeling like I was today, don't try to bear the burden of parenting on your own. Let God's grace do a miracle in your life. Let Him step in and bring you strength, wisdom, help, encouragement... whatever you need! Just ask.

About Every Day Miracles

If you know a child with Autism, or special needs I hope you find this blog helpful.  I've decided to write this because I have a passion for children who are unable to speak for themselves. I want to be a voice of answers in an area where there are many questions. I don't have a doctorate, but what I do have is a testimony and a life that has been changed forever by one quiet, mysterious, brilliant and sweet young boy. I also have a hope for my son and a vision for his future. 

That doesn't mean that I have all the answers. There are times when I grow weary by the task of caring for him and the rest of my family. There are times when I fall asleep and wake up with a list of cares concerning his needs. There are days when the gap between my hope for his future and the status quo seems so vast.

But there are moments when my little boy surprises me with a gift. His gifts to me are new things he’s never done before. Sometimes they are things I never thought that he would do. There are days when I see my prayers manifesting into reality and it fills me so full of joy that I am moved to tears. These are our Everyday Miracles. They are little steps that over time, lead to recovery.

I see that my little boy has affected so many lives.  He is a gift to me, a gift to his teachers and a gift to his peers. He is an example of the Glory of God.  Not because he has Autism, but because God’s Grace is causing him to overcome it. I’m writing this blog to share my faith and trust in God concerning my son and to document his transformation.

Our Story

There were all sorts of warning signs as my little boy began to grow from a baby to a toddler. Sometimes I’d worry; sometimes I’d hope for the best, but most of the time, I lived in denial. The problem with denial though is that every once in a while, you’re hit with situations that are too hard to ignore.

Our first wakeup call was when Andrew was about twenty months old. We took him to a birthday party. In attendance were several other children around the same age as him. The children were full of speech, and Andrew hadn’t spoken a word in several months. I had all sorts of explanations, but something seemed wrong when we saw Andrew's behavior in contrast to the other children's.

When child came near him, he wandered somewhere else where he could be by himself. When it was time to play pin the tail on the donkey, all the children were so excited and engaged. They each seemed to have a hard time waiting for their turn. But Andrew didn’t even seem to understand the point of the game, and had no interest in playing.  

The next activity was a treasure hunt. Most of the kids were giddy with excitement, running around the backyard in search for prizes.  Andrew was completely aloof. Instead of searching for treasure, he studied the perimeter of the yard, running along the fence and touching each board with his fingertips as he went.

Perhaps the most heart breaking moment at the party was when the moms wanted all the kids to line-up on the deck for a picture. I tried as hard as I could to get my little guy to sit down next to the other kids, look at the camera and smile.  He began to cry, wiggled out of my arms, and ran off to continue playing in his self-chosen world of isolation. The other moms watched, bewildered and perhaps full of their own conclusions but no one dared to say anything to me.  The picture was taken and Andrew wasn’t in it.

The Beginning of a Journey

Through the discovery that my son had Autism, I went searching for answers. I talked to therapists, doctors and teachers. I searched the internet, and read books, hoping that somewhere, I would find someone who could give me some hope for my child. I didn't find much encouragement.

In fact, I found the opposite; doctors and therapists couldn't offer me any promise of future, and some even discouraged me from thinking positively. I soon discovered that I needed to guard myself from other people's opinions. While doctor's may know a lot and mean well, they simply don't know everything. My hope is not rooted in medical research, advances or treatments. My hope is rooted in the ultimate healer.

I arrived at this conclusion because there is one thing that I know to be true; God is good.  God said in Jeremiah 29:11 says; for I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. My head started spinning the more that I dared to imagine a world where my son was completely whole.  What would it look like? How would it happen? How would we arrive there?

My first prayer for Andrew was a simple one. “God I don’t know what your will is just yet. But I believe you will show me. I pray for your very best for my little boy, and nothing less. I pray that you will give me wisdom and help me to be the best Mom I can be for him.” ...And so it began!

It didn't take long for me to discover that God's best is healing. I know that this is a bold and controversial thing to say. Even other Christians may disagree. My faith in healing is straight out of the bible, and I've seen it work.

If that's not reason enough to believe, let's think about the alternative: Accept the diagnosis as a life sentence rather than an obstacle to overcome.  Do this and you will find yourself without hope.

Proverbs 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick, but when desire comes, it's a tree of life." Without hope, it's easy to take on a victim mentality, we become burdened and heavy. Our focus switches from being an effective parent, to just getting by day to day.

The one thing I will NEVER do is give up hope in Jesus to heal my son. I want to see my son through God's eyes.

In the days ahead, my future posts will be building off of these principles of faith. I will share scriptures, devotions, testimonies and welcome feedback. Will you join me?